Playing both sides: is it fair play?

Generally speaking, in the online dating scene dating websites included, it is not uncommon that singles searching for love online play both sides (or all over the field!), meaning that they would have dates with different people during the same period. This is a difference, at least statistically, between the world of Internet dating and dating in real life. In fact, in real life there is a tendency to disapprove of any individual who would date simultaneously more than one person in order to know him/her better as possible partner in love, and unpleasant names are commonly used regarding both the individual and such practice. But if we tell our friends that we are dating two singles we have met through an online dating site, their attitude is usually more understanding. Why is that? Should it be thus?

One of the reasons for this attitude is that meeting and getting to know someone face to face is the "trial by fire", the fundamental process that will lead to decision making, allowing us to establish emotional bonds and start a relationship. It is easily understood that, having not met each other directly/firsthand, there is a need to really see those singles we have liked in the web, and check how we like them in the flesh. Another reason is that when getting involved in a dating website, we assume that a search and selection process is initiated, therefore it seems only logical that different candidates turn up, and we feel a natural need to "put them to the test" live. One reason more to explain why those who look for a Love Cupid online have a busy dating schedule is that, in the Internet, you have access to many more singles, as compared to real life.

Regarding the advisability of going on simultaneous dates: probably the wisest answer is No, but there might be circumstances that play against the ideal situation... When we begin our "dating career" in a Christian dating website judiciously chosen, we will most likely start interacting via Live chat with various singles that appeal to us, and there is a real chance that we find two of them (or three, or even more) equally interesting. A couple of happy? chances more, and our online relationships could develop in a similar way, so that we feel the time has come for a real life meeting... with more than one candidate!

There is nothing wrong with meeting new people, making lots of friends and going out with them very often but, if we are talking about love, about intense emotions, plans for the future and sacred intentions, well then... playing both sides should not be in any Christian single agenda. If you believe in lifelong love, commitment, family responsibility, fidelity, marriage, etc. understanding that you cannot date more than one single person as partner in love comes easily. Consequently, if circumstances "push" you to fix simultaneous dates, the very first meetings should focus on getting to know a bit better those candidates and deciding, as soon as possible, which of them seems to be your dream mate, making it clear to the rest that you are not interested in dating them for love however, they could become good friends. This would indeed be fair play!


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