Beauty or not beauty

If you take a look at the facts and figures of online dating, even if you allow for some (unavoidable?) amount of error, you find funny data. Some of them might be useful and interesting for Singles searching for love online... although it is likely that most are nearly identical to the results of studies conducted about real life dating and "courtship behavior" outside the Internet. After all, humankind is unique and original when examined closely that is when differences stand out, but a bird's eye view of the species shows that there are indeed basics of human behavior irrespective of where exactly the behavior is taking place.

When you are looking for a partner to share a life project in the long run, your attitude is clearly different from the one favored in the "casual dating" scene. Christians engaging in online dating sites are willing to start a relationship that will lead to marriage, so they will take things much more seriously. In all probability, they will build a more comprehensive profile, be more thorough in their search, focus more on perceived compatibility, and somewhat downplay looks/beauty in favor of personality traits, values and interests.

The first figure to highlight is related to the last hypothesis: whatever you have been told, looking like a model will not increase your chances of succeeding. It will increase the number of messages or invitations you get, but this is not as positive as you could think. For instance, your inbox could become a mayhem and you would always be thinking that all those singles are just after your looks. In fact, people rated as very attractive according to their profile picture, tend to get tired of this kind of excessive constant attention to their outside, and often quit. Surprisingly for many of us, people with profile pictures that do not clearly show themselves in a portrait-like manner, but are beautiful/poetic/significant/original or otherwise able to convey pleasant sensations, are a great success in online dating websites.

Singles should be aware of another important point when they go into online dating: it is estimated that almost 60% of dating websites' users are women. (Ladies, the competence out there is fierce! Gentlemen, please do get in the ring!). This could be easily related to a few well-known facts. Some that instantly spring to mind are the general sex ratio there are more girls in the world than boys, yeah, those self-exposure & safety issues that as yet still apply to women - girls also prefer to conduct their love business in private, but know there is a risk to that, and the hunter vs. gatherer attitude. If you are not convinced that this one is deeply ingrained in our modern attitudes, you are missing a good deal of playful analogies, e.g.:

Hunters (usually males): they leave the home to hunt, usually do it in a group and if they go astray hunting, they go back to the group when they are done, it does not matter what you hunt as long as it is edible, there is a great thrill in it but gatherers don't get it.

Gatherers (usually females): they gather as near home/known territory as possible, and rather do it alone to share their knowledge might prove risky, they are very picky as otherwise they could cause serious health damage; gathering is useful, practical and neat but hunters do not get it.

All singles should then consider that outer conventional beauty seems not to be the key to success in online dating. There is even another figure about that supports this idea: people with honest/matter-of-fact pictures (e.g. those who display how chubby you are) are much more successful than users with a "common pose portrait" picture, typically regarded as attractive or cute.


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